You were in seat 14B on July 4th, American Airlines flight #3150, YYZ to LGA, I was the girl to your left in the window seat. I wanted to tell you that I thought you were quite handsome, but I refrained as I feared I would wind up having to share my candy with you – you had offered me a stick of gum, remember? And not offering you any candy in return was already somewhat ungracious. So anyway, now that my candy is out of jeopardy, wow are you ever handsome!

If our flight was crashing, I’d have been totally open to making out with you, even though I’m much older and kind of married. I understand that you might not be as cool with the prospect at first blush, but think back, I really was the cutest person between rows 13 to 15. You would have had to go pretty far to reach the blonde with the side ponytail, and I think she was travelling with someone. And the man with the crooked smile and shaggy brown hair was even further still! Sure, that petite gorgeous brown haired woman was just a little bit behind us, but she was clearly Orthodox and it was NOT going to happen. I know that looks are a useless way to make determinations about people, but in a plane crash make out situation, I think it’s a safe go-to.

Anyway, as a polite young man I think you would have gone along with it to avoid hurting my feelings, which, by the way, I totally appreciate.